Scissors - Paper - Diamond Rock!

At lunch on Sunday friends and I were talking about some of the gifts your not meant to give or accept from a boyfriend/lover/husband/toy boy/stalker - it seems the world of old wives tales is a large and contrary one ranging from paying a fair amount for a bee hive to not throwing water out after dark. I've always followed the one about pearls being the tears of the ocean, who ever gives them to you will make you cry. But with a simple Google search it seems I've only hit the tip of the ice berg...
 
If you want to tempt fate - cut your own hair. Any decent hairdresser or best friend will tell you that one, in fact I had a go at the blunt cut fringe/bangs about 8 years ago and just came out looking rather scary. Thank god I had a steady boyfriend or it could have resulted in a somewhat more dramatic use of the scissors.
 
Never dry yourself using the same towel as someone of the opposite sex - it leads to a quarrel. Well who wants a second hand, cold, damp towel anyway? Hand me one you've already used and frankly your asking for a quarrel.
 
Never accept a watch from a lover, it counts down your time together, never accept shoes either as they walk you to your relationships' demise. I bet neither Cartier nor Jimmy Choo would be too happy to hear this one...but frankly I'm only with you if your trying to palm off a stop watch or flip flops.
 
Its unlucky to pick up your own dropped glove, but you will share luck with the person who does. That's going to be great when I drop my new Chanel fingerless glove crush with no one around...what do I stand there till someone comes along and then instruct them to re-glove my naked hand? Or do I try and play footsie in an attempt to flick it back up to catching point myself? I'll look real cool.
 
Sew a swan's feather in your husbands pillow to ensure fidelity and have a mole on your breast to ensure irresistibility. No comment.
 
If you want to determine your fate - set fire to your hair. Quick question...What kind of fate do you think people are looking for if they light their heads on fire?
 
So if I'm not allowed to accept pearls, watches or shoes, use his towel to dry off or even pick up my own stuff it looks like I'm going to be standing waiting for Mr. Right to pitch up, notice I'm even missing a glove, compliment my breast mole, cut my hair and buy me a diamond. Well at least the final bit now has a little more meaning - I've found diamonds are the luckiest stone of all, they bring the power to drive off witches and prevent the wearer from going insane.
 
Phew! Such a relief - as long as I have a diamond ring my old boss won't come near me and I won't be tempted to light my hair on fire...and just in time too I was just about to nip out and pick up some matches...