This little piggy went to market

I spent my Friday night at a local meat market. And not the sort with men, cleavers and lamb chops. There was even a complimentary girl fight on the door as we entered. And they made me pay 10 bucks for the privilege. Great start. We got there just as the excessive amounts of alcohol were clearly sinking into the place. In fact I think they may have been pumping it though the air-con like they do with oxygen in planes. The thing about a meat market is that everyone likes the idea in principle, a club with good music, a fun attitude and single people everywhere sounds good in theory but when it actually takes shape it's strikingly ugly close up, smeared mascara, sweaty guys waving bottles of champagne at women and the strange mix of too much eau de toilette.
 
This particular place is a well known hunting ground for professionals, bankers, business people and scary randoms who I fear actually like this kind of scene. And just to throw in some land mines there seem to be some token nice guys who end up there after work drinks. Which means essentially your dodging hunting bullets and trying to land on a gold mine. Otherwise known as the impossible.
 
The approach in the meat market is the most interesting thing about the place to me (since conversations rarely last for more than 10 minutes). To be fair it's a laugh to watch a severely inebriated man in a damp suit try and say something witty (without slurring or spitting) to a woman who is trying to avoid being slugged by his waving bottle. Then to watch her try and say something gripping back whist madly flicking her hair, waving her nails and screaming above the music. And yet it's a a rather futile exercise. No one is there to make banter, find someone they 'click with' or meet a mate. Who ever heard 'Well, your mother and I were both at this seedy joint where people totally embarrass themselves and snog each other - and I saw her across the room screaming at a guy and waving her nails...and that was it. I knew she was the one.' Well I hope many people haven't heard that story.
 
Anyway I'd love to tell you I found a good one. But shock, I didn't. Shame. But then again, I think I'd I be worried if I did.