Noli me tangere quia Caesaris sum. Do not touch me for I am Ceasar's

Marriages and the stuff of Kings. That's what I've been stagnantly focused on for most of the day. Or more specifically the string of women associated with good ole' Henry. Britain's Henry VIII gave up his wife of 18 years Katherine of Aragon to marry Anne Boleyn, then gave her up to marry Jane Seymour, followed by Anne of Cleves, then Katherine Howard and finally Catherine Parr. The guy was unstoppable by the standards of the day.
 
It's the stuff my nightmares are made of. I know it's not rational but I somehow feel this disposable wife thing is more common in the minds of Kings. That they are easily able to throw over and throw away things that require work or no longer suit them and demand something prettier, more pleasing and more pliable. But who is to say that it is any more common for Kings and Queens than it is for others? Does a crown necessarily denote someone's fickleness?
 
Why is it that I'm not terrified of being in a relationship in this case, even before it's offered a beginning, I'm more terrified it will end? And more than anything I am terrified it will end with the intrusion of someone else.
 
Is that rational? I'm sure it must be but are the stakes any higher with anyone in particular? King/Queen/Jack/Ace? I've survived break ups before, I've survived many, many of them so what makes me dubious about it all. From the get-go? About him, about Caesar? Am I afraid of what I know will happen, or what might?
 
Perhaps half my trouble is that with power and position you don't really date the man, you date a family, an empire, you date traditions and frankly, you run the risk of losing yourself. Well, it's taken me too long to find myself to throw her away. And I think that, right there, losing myself, is the thing I'm more afraid of than anything. It's not a marriage beginning, it's not a marriage ending, it's losing me. And the only way I've come up with to avoid that is to find an equal who, in every way, stands next to you, never above or below you. And I don't think the King of Spades was raised to be anyone's equal.
 
So perhaps it's a case of, sorry Caesar, I just don't know if this is going to work out. The distance, the kingdom - you know, all that stuff. I'm just not sure it's really 'me'. Maybe we can just go back to being friends? Ok? Wanna smoke shisha and do shots instead?