IN is OUT and OUT is IN!

There are very few ways to describe last night without coming across as anything other than naive. So I'll just tell it how it went, you can judge me (lord knows I've been judging myself for the last 12 hours), I'll feel cleansed and we can all move on.

So last night I haul myself home after a wonderful, indulgent massage with enough time to wash my hair swipe on some mascara and hit drinks with the HMV Poacher. I get a text message en-route - if your going to be late call me. Responded with, no, 5 mins away (hence on time). I arrive, I wait. Then I get a call - 'my phone's died so I've had to come home to charge it, I only live 3 streets away, swing by here'. Fine, you should have told me while I was in the f'ing cab but whatever. 8 blocks later I get there. He's bare foot in shorts and a shirt with clearly no intention of going anywhere at all and his phone is laying, fully charged on the kitchen bench. Some guys just aren't worth the cab fare.

He's reeling off the compliments and is actually quite nice and funny - but the giant apartment, the funny stories and the good looks couldn't hide the sheer crassness of the whole situation. If you invite me OUT, I expect you to take me OUT. Not complicated. At all. If you had invited me IN - I would have stayed IN, at my house! If your going to false advertise please do it in place I expect to see it: Bars, clubs, the trading floor, the board room, the 19th hole, post rugby match gatherings and male swim wear competitions. Other than that I expect you (men) to be exactly what your renowned for - simple and straight forward. If your going to get all complicated on me - we're going to have re-evaluate our positions and I'll need to start to look at the details of lesbianism more closely.

So I take matters into my own hands with an 'Are you ready to go?' comment to which he comes out with - 'Its Monday night, there's nothing to do'...Well why did you bother cutting into my time then?!? I could have stayed at the club for a facial and perhaps even gotten high at the oxygen bar! In fact, I KNOW it's a Monday but I can still think of a hundred things I'd rather do, and about a million other people I'd rather do them with!

In the end I bailed, I was like 'Look I'm going home, this isn't what I was expecting, or wanted and your clearly not either. Sorry'. His final words were, 'I'll call you, maybe we can go clubbing on the weekend?' - You know what, don't bother. I wasted one night on this guy - I'm not a lady of leisure with nights to just throw away by staying IN! 3 missed phone calls already and counting.

But on a more serious note if the ultimate compliment I can give a guy is to skip getting high on oxygen and turn up with silky locks. Then, to think, I actually bothered to wash my hair for this guy! And if he wasn't worth the cab fare he certainly wasn't worth the shampoo!