Keep your receipts, this isnt the mafia

I'm a staunch feminist - sort of. In fact, perhaps these days there really isn't a name for what I am. I like men to open doors, help with my coat, stand when I go to the bathroom, walk on the curb side of the pavement and at the same time acknowledge my opinion as equal, propel me in the workplace, scrape my off the floor post melt-down and share the washing-up. I don't think its much to ask. How hard is it to be a bespoke gentleman, catering to the ever changing whims of the female sex?

In the 'old days' when you mentioned feminism thoughts turned to hairy armpits and bra burning. Now we are just as common in heels and Max Mara as 100% cotton and Birkenstocks. Conceivably women aren't out to seek revenge on the male population, instead we want to have our cake and eat it too. We were taught we could be anything and have everything. And we believe it. So with that in mind, and the knowledge that a strong woman raised me, let me tell you that I've stopped paying for things. Something that I discovered this morning when the 20% Russian bought my morning coffee. Small you think - but to me, meaningful.

I used to 'contribute'. Pay for breakfast, lunch and dinner, just to prove I could, and would, I'd be a step ahead with cash whenever it was needed. No longer. No thanks. If my mission is to find a gentleman who has traditional manners then I'm going to be controversial and say f-it. I want a man who pays. Or at least a man who wants to pay.

Is that too much to ask? Am I saying what we're not meant to say again? Damn - I keep doing that. It's not au fait but I'll admit it, I want to be looked after, to not have to worry about money. Wow she's high maintenance I hear you mutter? Well candidly, yes, but to be blunt even if you judge me it's not going to make a lick of difference. My role in this man-woman affair is to turn up and look good - and that's costly in itself! Miss Vuitton suggested this to me long ago, her reasoning was by letting the man pay you give him the feeling of being needed. A feeling women snatched from men long ago. But there is something delightfully sweet about watching him take pride in 'looking after you', and the kick they get comes from saying thank you. I get it.

Equally, if I'm looking for the perfect gentleman then I'm going to have to be the perfect lady. Well as long as this perfect little 'feminist' lady can do exactly as she pleases I'm up for that, let's start by bringing back martinis with lunch and the 3 day blow-dry. Ooooo - I could like this little turn of events.

PS. Title credit goes to Archie from RocknRolla, thanks buddy