If I go MIA will anyone see me waving my white flag?

The Milkman went on a buck’s party mission to Scotland and never returned. Ra Ra Army Boy was in the middle of driving to town for my birthday party on Saturday night and has never been heard from again. The Irish lawyer from last week may or may not have tried to hang himself after talking to me. King of Spades has spent the last week in the desert - really social. And even Monster Mashed has stopped chasing me for gossip on Suit and Tie's relationship with the evil Venus Fly Trap. I need a holiday. I'm too confused to function. It's like the full moon has come out and everyone has gone bonkers, including me.
 
Then, in an additional twist of fate - about a month ago, I was dating a guy for about 15 seconds who rather conveniently moved to Norway. So then his friend messaged to see if I wanted to hang out. Since I'd been making out with his friend I said, sure we could hang out, 'as friends'. Thinking anything more might be weird. We've hung out twice and he's cool - then he saw pictures of my friends from the weekend and now wants me to pimp him out. Huh? I realise that I was pretty straightforward in saying we can hang out as friends, but what? Did he initially want to hang out with me cause he thought snogging me would be easy? And if so, why hasn't he tried? I'm generally the confusing one in my relationships, but he has got me puzzled.
 
It's clear - the one's I like go MIA, the ones I begin to like are more confusing than I am and the rest are just throwing me curve balls to dodge. I don't get it? Waving my white flag right now. I give up. Your right. I don't get you guys. Everyone can come out now, joke's over. Guys? Seriously? Hey? Very funny! Guys? Where'd you go? Was it something I said?