There is a moment in every relationship where you choose to pay all your attention to one person. You stare at them, weigh up your options and think- really? You? Hmmm- ok. Because as much as I'd love to be more romantic practicality is key when cutting other options and committing your eggs to one scramble.
The problem I'm currently tossing is I get the feeling The English Gentleman isn't seeing 6 other people. And as chuffed as I am to say that he's currently topping my charts...I'm a bit crap at the whole dumping saga. Always have been. I tend to be a fan of ignore at all costs- which only very rarely backfires...in view of this and keeping in mind that The Gentleman hasn't exactly asked me to 'go steady' I think I'm having a flash of conscience and am going to have to start to cull the herd out of respect.
The Arms Dealer announced he's flying back to London tonight and wants to have a drink- how nice, but I suggest you alert the staff at Heathrow rather than me. I was rather sharp in my reply- 'sorry I've started seeing someone else, safe flight'. Harsh but fair. And in my defence, that was over eons ago!
Monster Mashed will understandably be distraught- last time he cooked me dinner I noticed a black hair pin in his apartment...killer giveaway- my hair pins are beige and his hair isn't long enough for a cut let alone a pin. If him keeping the first series of The Wire is the cost of jumping ship on that, frankly it's a small price to pay- it only reminds me that HMV Poacher/Stalker exists anyway! (Quick note: He hasn't called ALL DAY! It's a first! Perhaps he's trying at playing hard to get!)
The American and The King of Spades have both left the country which makes that a cinch.
But its Suit and Tie that is going to be rough...I think I'm going to have to suck up all my courage and play the bad guy here. Crap. I really do love an easy way out...
And that thought makes me wonder how much of the cull is healthy, how much is indulgent and how much is a little premature...am I jumping the gun to get rid of my back-up men? I've never been a fan of this 'all eggs, one basket' tactic and my last serious love (Mr. Big) literally badgered me to fly tandem before I would let go of my posse.
And logistically if I do this, do I ask? "Hey, FYI thought I'd call to let you know I've dumped all your competition". Doesn't exactly roll off the tongue. And at that point will I be surreptitiously admitting that I was seeing other people all along? Do I wait and see if he asks? Will he ask? Especially if he's been flying solo since meeting me...oh lord- when did choosing just one get so complicated...this is exactly why I keep 8 in the loop! Pass me a new set of baskets I think I need to divy my eggs up again.
Wednesday, September 30
Tuesday, September 29
Beep-beep-beeeeeep...paging the perfectly fine girl over her ex...
When Suit and Tie suggested a 'call' last night I thought it would be tough. Turns out he had a 'great idea' and wanted to know if I was free Saturday. I lied. Told him it's my best friend's birthday. Side note: Is anyone having a birthday Saturday? Someone with an opening for a best friend? He made me say yes to a date on Friday instead. So perhaps if that best friend interview could happen on Friday? I'll buy the cocktails?
The Boxer is emailing from America to ask 'how much I miss him' - would it be too callous to reply 'who are you again?'...
Meanwhile...my crush on The English Gentleman from the weekend appears to be gathering strength. It's bad. In the season of the flu I think I've caught something less contagious but potentially more serious. What will this mean for all the others? And more importantly, what will it mean for my blog? I may have to get out on blogging principle. I can't have just started to document my search for the Prince Charming and then find him...it doesn't work like that.
And yet the funny thing about getting a new crush is that other contenders can sense it. It's that mandatory 'man-pager' they all get during their first break- up, aged 14. Some keep it in a draw and some keep it in their draws but we all know it - they've all got one! It's the pager that stays silent all the time you dream about them, long for them to call, will them to think about you (or at least sob silently as they flip through old photos of you together)...and then BOOM...beep beep beep beeeeeeeeeeep - she's happy...she's excited about someone else...time turn up again....beeeeeeeeeeep.
At this point you've obviously rediscovered who you were before he made a mess of you, lost those 5 lbs you gained from all the 3 course dinners, extinguished the love candle, downed copious cocktails in an attempt to develop ex-amnesia, thrown away gifts...obviously keeping all Cartier, designer bags and immaculate clothing items. You've finally been able to return to your favourite sushi restaurant...where they still remember you and have the decorum not to ask where your male dining partner has disappeared to. And more importantly you've just met a guy who doesn't remind you of all the things your ex used to do right, do wrong - or just generally do and so remind you that he exists at all.
And then it starts - every guy you've been serious (or not) with will now start calling - it's inevitable...they'll call, sms, email, sky write, stalk you on the street - they'll send flowers, they'll ask after you through friends or they'll put a tombstone ad in the Financial Times. This uncanny timing is the concrete, indisputable evidence of the existence of the man-pager and frankly even though I realise that they must be a huge revenue generator for telecom providers, they need to be discontinued. Permanently.
These crappy pagers only get us into trouble.
A friend with whom I shared tapas with last night was telling me that her ex's pager had been going off recently. Then he saw her looking as gorgeous as ever, and clearly not crazy anymore - a couple of months apart does wonders for your skin and your spirit! Anyway seeing her sparkle the way she did when he first met her, he decided to try again. And what did she do? Not only did she neglect to grab his pager and his pride, and fling it as far across the bar as humanly possible. Instead she smiled her cutest smile, proceeded to fall for him all over again, take him home and bonk him. Not the smartest move ever.
What makes highly intelligent, beautiful, generally together women go crazy for a guy who has her number plugged into his emotional pager? I've come to the conclusion it has got to be the fear of failure. I'm guilty of it - feeling that I failed in a relationship and then trying to 'give it another go' as though it was a soufflé which never rose.
The more the pagers of the past seem to be going off - the more I have to resign myself to the fact that they now have the wrong number - and I have a new crush. And frankly I know which call I'd rather pick up and it doesn't involve trying to rescue flat desserts.
The Boxer is emailing from America to ask 'how much I miss him' - would it be too callous to reply 'who are you again?'...
Meanwhile...my crush on The English Gentleman from the weekend appears to be gathering strength. It's bad. In the season of the flu I think I've caught something less contagious but potentially more serious. What will this mean for all the others? And more importantly, what will it mean for my blog? I may have to get out on blogging principle. I can't have just started to document my search for the Prince Charming and then find him...it doesn't work like that.
And yet the funny thing about getting a new crush is that other contenders can sense it. It's that mandatory 'man-pager' they all get during their first break- up, aged 14. Some keep it in a draw and some keep it in their draws but we all know it - they've all got one! It's the pager that stays silent all the time you dream about them, long for them to call, will them to think about you (or at least sob silently as they flip through old photos of you together)...and then BOOM...beep beep beep beeeeeeeeeeep - she's happy...she's excited about someone else...time turn up again....beeeeeeeeeeep.
At this point you've obviously rediscovered who you were before he made a mess of you, lost those 5 lbs you gained from all the 3 course dinners, extinguished the love candle, downed copious cocktails in an attempt to develop ex-amnesia, thrown away gifts...obviously keeping all Cartier, designer bags and immaculate clothing items. You've finally been able to return to your favourite sushi restaurant...where they still remember you and have the decorum not to ask where your male dining partner has disappeared to. And more importantly you've just met a guy who doesn't remind you of all the things your ex used to do right, do wrong - or just generally do and so remind you that he exists at all.
And then it starts - every guy you've been serious (or not) with will now start calling - it's inevitable...they'll call, sms, email, sky write, stalk you on the street - they'll send flowers, they'll ask after you through friends or they'll put a tombstone ad in the Financial Times. This uncanny timing is the concrete, indisputable evidence of the existence of the man-pager and frankly even though I realise that they must be a huge revenue generator for telecom providers, they need to be discontinued. Permanently.
These crappy pagers only get us into trouble.
A friend with whom I shared tapas with last night was telling me that her ex's pager had been going off recently. Then he saw her looking as gorgeous as ever, and clearly not crazy anymore - a couple of months apart does wonders for your skin and your spirit! Anyway seeing her sparkle the way she did when he first met her, he decided to try again. And what did she do? Not only did she neglect to grab his pager and his pride, and fling it as far across the bar as humanly possible. Instead she smiled her cutest smile, proceeded to fall for him all over again, take him home and bonk him. Not the smartest move ever.
What makes highly intelligent, beautiful, generally together women go crazy for a guy who has her number plugged into his emotional pager? I've come to the conclusion it has got to be the fear of failure. I'm guilty of it - feeling that I failed in a relationship and then trying to 'give it another go' as though it was a soufflé which never rose.
The more the pagers of the past seem to be going off - the more I have to resign myself to the fact that they now have the wrong number - and I have a new crush. And frankly I know which call I'd rather pick up and it doesn't involve trying to rescue flat desserts.
Monday, September 28
Oh I'm sorry! Wasn't I speaking English?
HMV Poacher really must be desperate. After a cheeky brunch with one of my best girls on Saturday I got a few more calls and a text saying - 'u dont reply? Wen you round 2meet?' Before she and I parted we penned the ultimate response. 'Its not rocket science - no reply=I'm not around'. Call me old fashioned but I'm not 12 nor am I a gangster, you need to write WHOLE WORDS! How hard is it to actually write what you want to say as opposed to whacking out the shortest version humanly possible? How is that endearing? How about...f off! i h8t it wen you msg in genrl! Actually - now I get it - he doesn't understand me! I'm speaking a language he doesn't get! English. Whole words must be beyond him.
Friday night's movie marathon never happened - I did have a feeling it would get cut from the reel. I've got to admit, I'm not really sure what diplomats do exactly - but it does mean he can legitimately bail at the last minute. Apparently. What bugs me is the fact he calls me 'darling' when he apologizes which infuriates me no end.
I was meant to play golf with Suit and Tie on Saturday but he went out and got trashed on Friday. Typical - I called on Friday to can him and then he sends me a message cancelling Saturday morning...huh? You can't cancel the date AFTER I've already cancelled. Doesn't work buddy. And now he want's to 'call me tonight'...uh oh...sounds serious...
In any event after a much needed calming yoga class on Saturday afternoon I went for a casual drink with my best friend and her other half who is in fact a close friend of Ra Ra Army boy (not featured in a long while since he's off crawling through mud). He brought a friend who literally had me in hysterics all night. He's sweet and darling, hilarious, intelligent and hot! How does this work? He doesn't even seem to be damaged by an ex nor does he have 11 fingers (I checked). We hung out all Sunday as well - and still no blaring faults, other than he admitted he really liked me, which was more 'charming and honest' than 'desperate and scary'. Although - it's definitely too early to tell...he could have 11 toes, call me darling or worse send text messaged like a 12 year old.
OMG: HMV Poacher just called again! What is wrong with this guy!?! Kill me now!
Friday night's movie marathon never happened - I did have a feeling it would get cut from the reel. I've got to admit, I'm not really sure what diplomats do exactly - but it does mean he can legitimately bail at the last minute. Apparently. What bugs me is the fact he calls me 'darling' when he apologizes which infuriates me no end.
I was meant to play golf with Suit and Tie on Saturday but he went out and got trashed on Friday. Typical - I called on Friday to can him and then he sends me a message cancelling Saturday morning...huh? You can't cancel the date AFTER I've already cancelled. Doesn't work buddy. And now he want's to 'call me tonight'...uh oh...sounds serious...
In any event after a much needed calming yoga class on Saturday afternoon I went for a casual drink with my best friend and her other half who is in fact a close friend of Ra Ra Army boy (not featured in a long while since he's off crawling through mud). He brought a friend who literally had me in hysterics all night. He's sweet and darling, hilarious, intelligent and hot! How does this work? He doesn't even seem to be damaged by an ex nor does he have 11 fingers (I checked). We hung out all Sunday as well - and still no blaring faults, other than he admitted he really liked me, which was more 'charming and honest' than 'desperate and scary'. Although - it's definitely too early to tell...he could have 11 toes, call me darling or worse send text messaged like a 12 year old.
OMG: HMV Poacher just called again! What is wrong with this guy!?! Kill me now!
Friday, September 25
What are the odds?
3 more ignored calls from HMV Poacher. That puts him on 13 to none. Give up dude I'm not answering.
The Boxer has left the country. Thank god, now I can go back to class. That was a clean way out.
The King of Spades was as charming as ever at dinner - we're having a movie marathon tonight. 100 to 1 nothing will eventuate. As always.
The Boxer has left the country. Thank god, now I can go back to class. That was a clean way out.
The King of Spades was as charming as ever at dinner - we're having a movie marathon tonight. 100 to 1 nothing will eventuate. As always.
Thursday, September 24
You spin me right round, baby, right round, like a record baby - or not.
3 days, 6 missed calls, 2 drink invites and a voicemail later the HMV poacher just doesn't give up. Fortunately - I do, and did; the minute his front door swung shut behind me and I bolted. You can learn a lot from your desire to run or even your desire to 'turn' and do the 'look back'.
You know when you say goodbye to someone after a date - and you walk those first 5 steps, then...do you turn? Yes? Or are you already on step 25 thinking of your next hair appointment / date / political candidate choice / art purchase / new guinea pig's name? You would think that it is a clear index of desire but in truth it's a little more complicated and is rooted in the motivations behind the movement. Are you turning to see if... 1. he's still standing there, 2. he's turned to look back at you 3. he's already on his cell phone 4. to say goodbye just once more or 5. just cause you haven't seen enough of him. Is it a Curiosity turn - not to be mistaken for the real thing; The Butterfly Effect turn - the best type where your stomach does the all important drop or perhaps the Ambi turn which is a strange mixture of both.
I used to have a rule that said never to 'look back', prove your strong and can live without him but then you realise its those fleeting moments that are caught in your memory forever and even when it's all over it's just the thought of The Butterfly Effect turn that drags you out of bed, makes you wash your hair and take a chance on your cab fare:man ratio.
Dinner with The King of Spades tonight - we're hitting an Italian place that got a rave from The Times, lord knows what I'm expecting - from him that is. I'm expecting amazing things from the restaurant. I'd be more shocked if The Times let me down than a guy!
You know when you say goodbye to someone after a date - and you walk those first 5 steps, then...do you turn? Yes? Or are you already on step 25 thinking of your next hair appointment / date / political candidate choice / art purchase / new guinea pig's name? You would think that it is a clear index of desire but in truth it's a little more complicated and is rooted in the motivations behind the movement. Are you turning to see if... 1. he's still standing there, 2. he's turned to look back at you 3. he's already on his cell phone 4. to say goodbye just once more or 5. just cause you haven't seen enough of him. Is it a Curiosity turn - not to be mistaken for the real thing; The Butterfly Effect turn - the best type where your stomach does the all important drop or perhaps the Ambi turn which is a strange mixture of both.
I used to have a rule that said never to 'look back', prove your strong and can live without him but then you realise its those fleeting moments that are caught in your memory forever and even when it's all over it's just the thought of The Butterfly Effect turn that drags you out of bed, makes you wash your hair and take a chance on your cab fare:man ratio.
Dinner with The King of Spades tonight - we're hitting an Italian place that got a rave from The Times, lord knows what I'm expecting - from him that is. I'm expecting amazing things from the restaurant. I'd be more shocked if The Times let me down than a guy!
Wednesday, September 23
The Circle of Life
The King of Spades is in town...but will this time get us any further than it ever does?
If life is a never ending circle (I'm happy to go with Elton and Disney on this one), then how do you know when your starting another lap all over again? And is it horrid that I don't even mind that I'm not 'learning' anything each time around.
I've always loved roller coasters, but it would be nice to get off the loop before nausea sets in and perhaps, just perhaps I might be too old to ride. Will it take me throwing up my popcorn and cotton candy before I realise that I need to let the rollercoaster leave without me?
If life is a never ending circle (I'm happy to go with Elton and Disney on this one), then how do you know when your starting another lap all over again? And is it horrid that I don't even mind that I'm not 'learning' anything each time around.
I've always loved roller coasters, but it would be nice to get off the loop before nausea sets in and perhaps, just perhaps I might be too old to ride. Will it take me throwing up my popcorn and cotton candy before I realise that I need to let the rollercoaster leave without me?
Tuesday, September 22
IN is OUT and OUT is IN!
There are very few ways to describe last night without coming across as anything other than naive. So I'll just tell it how it went, you can judge me (lord knows I've been judging myself for the last 12 hours), I'll feel cleansed and we can all move on.
So last night I haul myself home after a wonderful, indulgent massage with enough time to wash my hair swipe on some mascara and hit drinks with the HMV Poacher. I get a text message en-route - if your going to be late call me. Responded with, no, 5 mins away (hence on time). I arrive, I wait. Then I get a call - 'my phone's died so I've had to come home to charge it, I only live 3 streets away, swing by here'. Fine, you should have told me while I was in the f'ing cab but whatever. 8 blocks later I get there. He's bare foot in shorts and a shirt with clearly no intention of going anywhere at all and his phone is laying, fully charged on the kitchen bench. Some guys just aren't worth the cab fare.
He's reeling off the compliments and is actually quite nice and funny - but the giant apartment, the funny stories and the good looks couldn't hide the sheer crassness of the whole situation. If you invite me OUT, I expect you to take me OUT. Not complicated. At all. If you had invited me IN - I would have stayed IN, at my house! If your going to false advertise please do it in place I expect to see it: Bars, clubs, the trading floor, the board room, the 19th hole, post rugby match gatherings and male swim wear competitions. Other than that I expect you (men) to be exactly what your renowned for - simple and straight forward. If your going to get all complicated on me - we're going to have re-evaluate our positions and I'll need to start to look at the details of lesbianism more closely.
So I take matters into my own hands with an 'Are you ready to go?' comment to which he comes out with - 'Its Monday night, there's nothing to do'...Well why did you bother cutting into my time then?!? I could have stayed at the club for a facial and perhaps even gotten high at the oxygen bar! In fact, I KNOW it's a Monday but I can still think of a hundred things I'd rather do, and about a million other people I'd rather do them with!
In the end I bailed, I was like 'Look I'm going home, this isn't what I was expecting, or wanted and your clearly not either. Sorry'. His final words were, 'I'll call you, maybe we can go clubbing on the weekend?' - You know what, don't bother. I wasted one night on this guy - I'm not a lady of leisure with nights to just throw away by staying IN! 3 missed phone calls already and counting.
But on a more serious note if the ultimate compliment I can give a guy is to skip getting high on oxygen and turn up with silky locks. Then, to think, I actually bothered to wash my hair for this guy! And if he wasn't worth the cab fare he certainly wasn't worth the shampoo!
So last night I haul myself home after a wonderful, indulgent massage with enough time to wash my hair swipe on some mascara and hit drinks with the HMV Poacher. I get a text message en-route - if your going to be late call me. Responded with, no, 5 mins away (hence on time). I arrive, I wait. Then I get a call - 'my phone's died so I've had to come home to charge it, I only live 3 streets away, swing by here'. Fine, you should have told me while I was in the f'ing cab but whatever. 8 blocks later I get there. He's bare foot in shorts and a shirt with clearly no intention of going anywhere at all and his phone is laying, fully charged on the kitchen bench. Some guys just aren't worth the cab fare.
He's reeling off the compliments and is actually quite nice and funny - but the giant apartment, the funny stories and the good looks couldn't hide the sheer crassness of the whole situation. If you invite me OUT, I expect you to take me OUT. Not complicated. At all. If you had invited me IN - I would have stayed IN, at my house! If your going to false advertise please do it in place I expect to see it: Bars, clubs, the trading floor, the board room, the 19th hole, post rugby match gatherings and male swim wear competitions. Other than that I expect you (men) to be exactly what your renowned for - simple and straight forward. If your going to get all complicated on me - we're going to have re-evaluate our positions and I'll need to start to look at the details of lesbianism more closely.
So I take matters into my own hands with an 'Are you ready to go?' comment to which he comes out with - 'Its Monday night, there's nothing to do'...Well why did you bother cutting into my time then?!? I could have stayed at the club for a facial and perhaps even gotten high at the oxygen bar! In fact, I KNOW it's a Monday but I can still think of a hundred things I'd rather do, and about a million other people I'd rather do them with!
In the end I bailed, I was like 'Look I'm going home, this isn't what I was expecting, or wanted and your clearly not either. Sorry'. His final words were, 'I'll call you, maybe we can go clubbing on the weekend?' - You know what, don't bother. I wasted one night on this guy - I'm not a lady of leisure with nights to just throw away by staying IN! 3 missed phone calls already and counting.
But on a more serious note if the ultimate compliment I can give a guy is to skip getting high on oxygen and turn up with silky locks. Then, to think, I actually bothered to wash my hair for this guy! And if he wasn't worth the cab fare he certainly wasn't worth the shampoo!
Monday, September 21
I'll take the box series of The Wire and a date please.
The Boxer might have cornered me into a date but I gave him no sings of encouragement - that's for sure. Established early on that hand holding wasn't going to fly and made a mental note to myself, that if he even started to hint at a discussion concerning 'us' I would bail and didn't even give him a kiss on the cheek to say goodbye. Peace out dude. OveR! How can you think someone sending you an email that says 'I don't want to see you again' is a test? A test of what? Reading and comprehension? Cause it certainly isn't Complex Reasoning!
Whilst I was getting a DVD for my dinner with Monster Mashed another guy picked me up, lets call him the HMV poacher.
HMV Poacher: Hey, I sorry
Me removing headphones
HMV Poacher: Were you out last night?
Me: Hahaha, no - sorry
HMV Poacher: Really?!? There was a girl identical to you out last night
Me: Really? Well did you get her number?
HMV Poacher: No I was drunk
Me: Not the best move ever
HMV Poacher: I know - but she looked exactly like you
Me: We'll there you go, I'm sure there are lots of them running around
HMV Poacher: I'm xxxx
Me: Hi, I'm Mikey
HMV Poacher: Can I get your number? We could go for drinks.
Me: I don't even know you
HMV Poacher: That's what the drinks are for
Me: You've got a point...Ok
Guess I was in a good mood - and he's rather quick off the mark, inviting me for drinks tonight, frankly it's a good move, it doesn't pay to play cool with me and besides tonight I'm not free till Friday - fingers crossed I don't end up chopped into little pieces in HMV bags...Actually we're meeting outside Harvey Nics...so perhaps my remains will be in slightly more durable bags which will help with identification.
In more shocking news: The Brazilian Diver has displayed a rather explosive temper! It seems the last couple of times he's recounted a story to me it involves explosions of anger and more profanities than in a girls bathroom after a school dance cheating incident...actually more but whatever. Don't get me wrong I've never been on the other end of his TNT inspired rants- but still. It was intense enough on Sunday for me to feel a little taken-a-back...hopefully this doesn't mean he'll need to be taken-back...
Whilst I was getting a DVD for my dinner with Monster Mashed another guy picked me up, lets call him the HMV poacher.
HMV Poacher: Hey, I sorry
Me removing headphones
HMV Poacher: Were you out last night?
Me: Hahaha, no - sorry
HMV Poacher: Really?!? There was a girl identical to you out last night
Me: Really? Well did you get her number?
HMV Poacher: No I was drunk
Me: Not the best move ever
HMV Poacher: I know - but she looked exactly like you
Me: We'll there you go, I'm sure there are lots of them running around
HMV Poacher: I'm xxxx
Me: Hi, I'm Mikey
HMV Poacher: Can I get your number? We could go for drinks.
Me: I don't even know you
HMV Poacher: That's what the drinks are for
Me: You've got a point...Ok
Guess I was in a good mood - and he's rather quick off the mark, inviting me for drinks tonight, frankly it's a good move, it doesn't pay to play cool with me and besides tonight I'm not free till Friday - fingers crossed I don't end up chopped into little pieces in HMV bags...Actually we're meeting outside Harvey Nics...so perhaps my remains will be in slightly more durable bags which will help with identification.
In more shocking news: The Brazilian Diver has displayed a rather explosive temper! It seems the last couple of times he's recounted a story to me it involves explosions of anger and more profanities than in a girls bathroom after a school dance cheating incident...actually more but whatever. Don't get me wrong I've never been on the other end of his TNT inspired rants- but still. It was intense enough on Sunday for me to feel a little taken-a-back...hopefully this doesn't mean he'll need to be taken-back...
Sunday, September 20
If you find yourself cornered- shoot your way out!
I've been beaten into another date by The Boxer who has at least proved that he listened well. We're going clay shooting.
He called - whilst I was on my way to meet the Brazilian Diver - to say that he didn't believe my email and wanted to hang out again. I wriggled- I squirmed but it didn't work and I really do want to go shooting! Have canned his idea of dinner as well- meeting up with Monster Mashed instead.
Mr. Test Match and I hung out on Friday night- we partied with his friends, who should still be in kindergarten. Such a shame- he'll be a great catch in about 5 years, till then I might be better off resigning myself to the fact that what we do best is drink, dance and banter. Nothing can really come of a relationship founded on a dance floor.
The Brazilian Diver is getting over a nasty bout of food poisoning and is stomping around cranky wanting me to take care of him.
The Arms Dealer wrote me a rather abrupt text asking me to 'at least explain my disappearance' - to which there was only one reply, the guilt trip. 'work had me going crazy and that's why I was calling last weekend' (total lie- was calling out of guilt)- awesome twist of fate though, now I can ditch his on a ligit reason of him freaking on me. Nice.
Now I've just got to shoot myself out of this corner The Boxer has backed me into.
He called - whilst I was on my way to meet the Brazilian Diver - to say that he didn't believe my email and wanted to hang out again. I wriggled- I squirmed but it didn't work and I really do want to go shooting! Have canned his idea of dinner as well- meeting up with Monster Mashed instead.
Mr. Test Match and I hung out on Friday night- we partied with his friends, who should still be in kindergarten. Such a shame- he'll be a great catch in about 5 years, till then I might be better off resigning myself to the fact that what we do best is drink, dance and banter. Nothing can really come of a relationship founded on a dance floor.
The Brazilian Diver is getting over a nasty bout of food poisoning and is stomping around cranky wanting me to take care of him.
The Arms Dealer wrote me a rather abrupt text asking me to 'at least explain my disappearance' - to which there was only one reply, the guilt trip. 'work had me going crazy and that's why I was calling last weekend' (total lie- was calling out of guilt)- awesome twist of fate though, now I can ditch his on a ligit reason of him freaking on me. Nice.
Now I've just got to shoot myself out of this corner The Boxer has backed me into.
Saturday, September 19
If you learn one lesson...
...it's NOT to delete numbers, it will always come back to bite you.
So I spent my Christmas / New Years in the land of the free and in the city de jour- New York. It included few crazy nights including my birthday at an underground bar and then partying with drag queens. It was on one of these occasions that I met a kid who I'll call The Giant. I wouldn't be exaggerating when I say he's 7 ft tall. I'm rather tiny at 5' 3, which meant I not only needed to stand on 1 step but 2!!! Anyway the hot, very tall scandi (that strangely couldnt speak scandi) was an incredible find until a couple of nights later when he turned up trying to snog a girl at the table next to me in a club- little did he know I was sitting right there until afterwards when he fumbled fruitlessly to explain. I promptly snogged a famous baseballer to piss him off. A few ignored calls and messages later and I came back to the Continent and promptly forgot all about him...
Except for when I not so cleverly rid myself of his number. 9 months later and I just got a message from him inviting me for drinks at a hotel here in town and then to a club- wow, wonders will never cease to amaze. And I will cease to delete!
Another friend of mine simply changes their name entry to 'Do not answer' - a rather harsh version of the number deletion process. But at least she's never fooled into responding. But knowing myself, I need to know which one is trying to establish contact- just in case...you know ...well just in case i'm in the mood for a 7ft tall hot scandi.
So I spent my Christmas / New Years in the land of the free and in the city de jour- New York. It included few crazy nights including my birthday at an underground bar and then partying with drag queens. It was on one of these occasions that I met a kid who I'll call The Giant. I wouldn't be exaggerating when I say he's 7 ft tall. I'm rather tiny at 5' 3, which meant I not only needed to stand on 1 step but 2!!! Anyway the hot, very tall scandi (that strangely couldnt speak scandi) was an incredible find until a couple of nights later when he turned up trying to snog a girl at the table next to me in a club- little did he know I was sitting right there until afterwards when he fumbled fruitlessly to explain. I promptly snogged a famous baseballer to piss him off. A few ignored calls and messages later and I came back to the Continent and promptly forgot all about him...
Except for when I not so cleverly rid myself of his number. 9 months later and I just got a message from him inviting me for drinks at a hotel here in town and then to a club- wow, wonders will never cease to amaze. And I will cease to delete!
Another friend of mine simply changes their name entry to 'Do not answer' - a rather harsh version of the number deletion process. But at least she's never fooled into responding. But knowing myself, I need to know which one is trying to establish contact- just in case...you know ...well just in case i'm in the mood for a 7ft tall hot scandi.
Friday, September 18
meet...chew...spit...repeat...
Oh dear. I may have fallen for someone. Problem. Big problem. Its the Brazilian Diver and he's oceans away from what I typically go for. He's very alpha male, a little crazy, clearly used to being the centre of attention and something about him makes him slightly wonderful and its clearly not the way he dances, which just makes me feel slightly silly and fall about laughing. But are we 'too much' together - I'm used to being the centre of attention, I don't know if I can give that up. I can't really go cold turkey on my attention quota and to have someone else cutting in on it - I'm not sure if I'll cope. Typically I've always ended up with men who were slightly reserved and more listeners than talkers, have I "met my match" rather than met "my match"? And yet, perhaps the change is for the best - lord knows the others can never keep up with me, its generally the same routine, meet...chew...spit...repeat...maybe I've met a pace- maker this time and one that makes the heart flutter slightly as well...wonder if they specialise in producing pacemakers in brazil - they are the kings of industry down south.
And then there is the other one I like...Mr. Test Match - I should have been careful what I wished for, he gave me a slight brush off for a couple of days after our first date...but after ignoring him for a while he's messaging again, such simple creatures...now he wants to meet up to hang out...
Spoilt for choice, I'm going to have to watch my moves, saying that it makes a change from disliking them all to liking two at once...surely one of them will disappoint by date two - right? Then again, I can always go back to meet...chew...spit...repeat...
And then there is the other one I like...Mr. Test Match - I should have been careful what I wished for, he gave me a slight brush off for a couple of days after our first date...but after ignoring him for a while he's messaging again, such simple creatures...now he wants to meet up to hang out...
Spoilt for choice, I'm going to have to watch my moves, saying that it makes a change from disliking them all to liking two at once...surely one of them will disappoint by date two - right? Then again, I can always go back to meet...chew...spit...repeat...
Thursday, September 17
Cling / dote / discard - maybe it's all in the definition?
I've given the Boxer the flick - I can't stand it anymore and more importantly I can't stand him anymore. Which is really annoying because he showed so much promise in the early rounds but now that I can see his truly clingy side he's got to go. I sent him an email saying, look we're both really stressed out etc - but that being the case or not, things aren't clicking the way they need to, sorry but peace out. Well not verbatim, but pretty much. Luckily he's leaving the country soon, which means that I can go back to my usual boxing class once he's left - phew, I thought I was going to have to find a new studio for a minute there. It may be the one time you hear me thank the government for the visa process here!
Suit and tie called last night, then he emails me to say he was calling 'just to hear my voice'! Thank god I didn't answer since I'd just got two messages from the Arms Dealer saying he missed my smile and he missed my laughter and I was more worried about the fact that my cleaner had hung a silk dress with red flowers next to a white chiffon top which now looks like it has a case of the measles. Ahhhhhh...More clinging - I mean I know I'm wearing tights now that the weather is turning cold, but all that static can't really be making them stick. Although it would answer some very interesting questions about what constitutes their hair choices. What has happened to the old fashioned approach, I'm too cool to call, text, email or contact you in any way (including a carrier pigeon) for at least 3 days...or 7...or even better - ever again. Maybe I have to start to be more honest with my feelings on dates. Not encourage them, or make them feel like I do actually like them. Maybe that might be an idea. I'm giving them false hopes, letting them believe that I've had so much fun I need to hear from them ever again. Lets go back to the days where men didn't call you and you convinced yourself they had died. It was easier then. Or maybe its just that the annoying ones 'cling' and the wonderful ones 'dote' and all the ones in between somehow just get 'discarded'...perhaps its all in the definition.
In another interesting twist, at dinner with two wonderful new friends on Tuesday night I was unwittingly set up with a newbie in town. Tall, dark, handsome and rather charming (his friend reads this blog so I must go gently) we're going for drinks tonight which should be interesting...for reasons i'll explain once I've had a chance to review a theory of his which involves terms such as snorkeling, the titanic, lunar and sky diving - he'll be known as the Brazilian Diver.
Oh and good news on my white chiffon top - we're back to pure again, those pesky, clingy red spots just faded away with an overnight soaking. If only the same were true of certain men...
Suit and tie called last night, then he emails me to say he was calling 'just to hear my voice'! Thank god I didn't answer since I'd just got two messages from the Arms Dealer saying he missed my smile and he missed my laughter and I was more worried about the fact that my cleaner had hung a silk dress with red flowers next to a white chiffon top which now looks like it has a case of the measles. Ahhhhhh...More clinging - I mean I know I'm wearing tights now that the weather is turning cold, but all that static can't really be making them stick. Although it would answer some very interesting questions about what constitutes their hair choices. What has happened to the old fashioned approach, I'm too cool to call, text, email or contact you in any way (including a carrier pigeon) for at least 3 days...or 7...or even better - ever again. Maybe I have to start to be more honest with my feelings on dates. Not encourage them, or make them feel like I do actually like them. Maybe that might be an idea. I'm giving them false hopes, letting them believe that I've had so much fun I need to hear from them ever again. Lets go back to the days where men didn't call you and you convinced yourself they had died. It was easier then. Or maybe its just that the annoying ones 'cling' and the wonderful ones 'dote' and all the ones in between somehow just get 'discarded'...perhaps its all in the definition.
In another interesting twist, at dinner with two wonderful new friends on Tuesday night I was unwittingly set up with a newbie in town. Tall, dark, handsome and rather charming (his friend reads this blog so I must go gently) we're going for drinks tonight which should be interesting...for reasons i'll explain once I've had a chance to review a theory of his which involves terms such as snorkeling, the titanic, lunar and sky diving - he'll be known as the Brazilian Diver.
Oh and good news on my white chiffon top - we're back to pure again, those pesky, clingy red spots just faded away with an overnight soaking. If only the same were true of certain men...
Tuesday, September 15
Give it a sporting chance!
25 minutes late meant Mr. Test Match definitely started out on the back foot. On the front foot however was the fact that he is just as cute as I remembered, very sweet and had been spending time with his sister who has just broken up with her boyfriend. Of 10 years. So lateness forgiven (only slightly though).
We spent the night chatting like a pair of 14 year old school girls - mainly about traveling, university and how un-sporting he was managing to come across...a cause de one slightly ridiculous story about kayaking from one island to another during what he promised was a gale force winds, but what I'm sure was just a slight contrary breeze, another of him jumping off a waterfall into a school of jelly fish (I can only hope he hasn't been permanently damaged in some way)...and riding an elephant with a cushion about an inch thin obviously resulting in a very numb ass and the horrendous choice of his to become an accountant.
A couple of messages this morning - if only I could cut and paste all the attention that the Boxer is giving me so that it was coming from Mr. Test Match life would be sporting!
Rang the boxer early last night to congratulate him on handing in his MBA paper today - to which I got a rather frosty exchange...didn't worry me in the slightest but clearly it bothered him since he followed up with an apology call, voicemail, sms AND THEN an email this morning. As one friend said, you need to get this guy a book! Good idea, keep him occupied, and perhaps one with the title, 'Relationships aren't fun if one person is badgered into participating!'.
The Italian Stallion thought he could give me all The Hills dvds and then ask me on another 'proper date' again - and that would work. Ummm - no. Sorry. I had to come out and just say it, not going to happen buddy but thanks for the dvds!
We spent the night chatting like a pair of 14 year old school girls - mainly about traveling, university and how un-sporting he was managing to come across...a cause de one slightly ridiculous story about kayaking from one island to another during what he promised was a gale force winds, but what I'm sure was just a slight contrary breeze, another of him jumping off a waterfall into a school of jelly fish (I can only hope he hasn't been permanently damaged in some way)...and riding an elephant with a cushion about an inch thin obviously resulting in a very numb ass and the horrendous choice of his to become an accountant.
A couple of messages this morning - if only I could cut and paste all the attention that the Boxer is giving me so that it was coming from Mr. Test Match life would be sporting!
Rang the boxer early last night to congratulate him on handing in his MBA paper today - to which I got a rather frosty exchange...didn't worry me in the slightest but clearly it bothered him since he followed up with an apology call, voicemail, sms AND THEN an email this morning. As one friend said, you need to get this guy a book! Good idea, keep him occupied, and perhaps one with the title, 'Relationships aren't fun if one person is badgered into participating!'.
The Italian Stallion thought he could give me all The Hills dvds and then ask me on another 'proper date' again - and that would work. Ummm - no. Sorry. I had to come out and just say it, not going to happen buddy but thanks for the dvds!
Monday, September 14
If Nemo was this much of a sucker would you still think he was cute?
Suit and Tie knows he was a bit 'keen as mustard', very European mustard - he's reigned it in but now the boxer is getting too clingy. Italian Stallion has realised there's no hope but that hasn't stopped him inviting me places, my old flame the Scandi has been calling me from Norway (one of my great loves - skip to my first post), I've kind of mended the bridge with F1 Racer - since that really was my fault and another man from the past 'Polo Hound' randomly messaged me over the weekend.
Friday dinner with my cousin (Armstrong) and his hilarious girlfriend, to which I invited the boxer - since I felt bad...he'd been sending me 'looking forward to tonight' messages all day. I couldn't bare seeing him, but invited him cause I felt guilty. Rather funny actually I told him I was cancelling and mentioned family dinner as a consolation prize -he got all pissy. Then called me back like 20 minutes later to grovel and say he wanted to come. Crap - someone should tell him invitations to family occasions before 3 months are NOT authentic.
Brunch on Saturday was with Suit and Tie and we wandered around the park and sat in the sun. He was all over me, I mean COME ON - what are you 14? I like a man who can show his emotions but seriously, calm down! There is a fine line between caring and a sucker fish...actually, scratch that, there is a HUGE GREAT BIG LINE between caring and a sucker fish!
Saturday night involved tequila and a bunch of friends who I generally think are old (55ish) and harmless...but I'm starting to think otherwise. Need to gain some distance from that one. It appears the older we get the more ingrained our issues become - thanks but I've got enough drama, I don't need to share someone else's!
I've been missing Mr. Big lately which isn't helping with my search for Mr. Bigger! Sometime, don't you wish guys would self combust once you were done with them? I would be so much more convenient. I can't be with you anymore...BOOM! - Well that's sorted. Easy. Hmmm - I may be onto something. Photo with his new girlfriend on facebook...BOOM!
Drinks with Mr. Test Match tonight - lets hope I can find out his name...lord knows I forgot that early in the series...
Friday dinner with my cousin (Armstrong) and his hilarious girlfriend, to which I invited the boxer - since I felt bad...he'd been sending me 'looking forward to tonight' messages all day. I couldn't bare seeing him, but invited him cause I felt guilty. Rather funny actually I told him I was cancelling and mentioned family dinner as a consolation prize -he got all pissy. Then called me back like 20 minutes later to grovel and say he wanted to come. Crap - someone should tell him invitations to family occasions before 3 months are NOT authentic.
Brunch on Saturday was with Suit and Tie and we wandered around the park and sat in the sun. He was all over me, I mean COME ON - what are you 14? I like a man who can show his emotions but seriously, calm down! There is a fine line between caring and a sucker fish...actually, scratch that, there is a HUGE GREAT BIG LINE between caring and a sucker fish!
Saturday night involved tequila and a bunch of friends who I generally think are old (55ish) and harmless...but I'm starting to think otherwise. Need to gain some distance from that one. It appears the older we get the more ingrained our issues become - thanks but I've got enough drama, I don't need to share someone else's!
I've been missing Mr. Big lately which isn't helping with my search for Mr. Bigger! Sometime, don't you wish guys would self combust once you were done with them? I would be so much more convenient. I can't be with you anymore...BOOM! - Well that's sorted. Easy. Hmmm - I may be onto something. Photo with his new girlfriend on facebook...BOOM!
Drinks with Mr. Test Match tonight - lets hope I can find out his name...lord knows I forgot that early in the series...
Friday, September 11
If you stalk me one more time!
So another update. Im being stalked. Seriously. This guy I met like 2 years ago and did a professional course with is constantly asking me out. He needs to give it a rest. How can he NOT have figured out that I have no interest in him as a person, as a stick figure, or even as a wall hanging. None. Every text gets no response, every call goes unanswered - just tell me, what about that screams - cant wait to settle down with you and have your babies....ahhhhhh! GO AWAY, YOUR KILLING ME!!!
1,2,3,4 white suits on the dance floor?
So about a month ago I went out for dinner with my girls. The usual tom-foolery went down including deciding that we must go to a local American bar where there are more alpha males than an overactive trading floor. After literally walking in, one of my best friend comes out with-
Bartender: What would you like?
Miss McQueen: Men, lots of men.
Bartender (rather confused and looking around at a see of men): Umm - ok.
And the night went downhill from there...we were mobbed. Essentially we were adopted by a group of rather hot, hilarious young gentlemen who then convinced us to join them at a table at a club. After waaaay too many cocktails the dancing began - encouraged by the flashing 70's dance floor we began cutting our coolest moves, the lawnmower, shopping trolley, sprinkler system - bringing back the days of 70's disco cool...believe me if someone had provided a phone-booth changing room with a supply of white flared suits I believe we all would have been clawing at the door!
In any case and obviously because I looked so cool - I managed to catch the eye of a little spring chicken who I then busted moves with. End of the night he walked me home...with a short stroll in a gated cricket pitch (lord knows how I manage to climb an 8 foot fence when I've consumed a bottle of champagne myself - I seriously become spider woman with no limit on my ability to scale,even in a silk evening dress... perhaps this is the reason superheroes hang out at night - they need a couple of cocktails to get going!)
So anyway after a little next morning sms banter there was no follow up. I let it go - without that first chase on his behalf you have to leave it.
Last night - text number 5 from the boy pool was from a random number, and low-and-behold...Mr. Test Match was connecting again, after my initial surprise and a quick comment that I thought he'd died..he invited me for a drink...only sticking point...he's 3 years younger than me...which considering my age makes him positively a baby...eek!
Text 1 -Monster Mash sms'ed - he's back, couple of days of ex revelation cool down.
Text 2 -The Boxer wants to go to the movies tonight, but I think I'm bored already - he's got too much time on his hands.
Call 3 - Suit and Tie - missed his call, actually, that's a lie - saw it, couldn't be bothered..brunch with him on Sat.
Text 4 - Italian Stallion and I are having coffee later, so easy since we're in the same locale - but that's it, is that bad?
Bartender: What would you like?
Miss McQueen: Men, lots of men.
Bartender (rather confused and looking around at a see of men): Umm - ok.
And the night went downhill from there...we were mobbed. Essentially we were adopted by a group of rather hot, hilarious young gentlemen who then convinced us to join them at a table at a club. After waaaay too many cocktails the dancing began - encouraged by the flashing 70's dance floor we began cutting our coolest moves, the lawnmower, shopping trolley, sprinkler system - bringing back the days of 70's disco cool...believe me if someone had provided a phone-booth changing room with a supply of white flared suits I believe we all would have been clawing at the door!
In any case and obviously because I looked so cool - I managed to catch the eye of a little spring chicken who I then busted moves with. End of the night he walked me home...with a short stroll in a gated cricket pitch (lord knows how I manage to climb an 8 foot fence when I've consumed a bottle of champagne myself - I seriously become spider woman with no limit on my ability to scale,even in a silk evening dress... perhaps this is the reason superheroes hang out at night - they need a couple of cocktails to get going!)
So anyway after a little next morning sms banter there was no follow up. I let it go - without that first chase on his behalf you have to leave it.
Last night - text number 5 from the boy pool was from a random number, and low-and-behold...Mr. Test Match was connecting again, after my initial surprise and a quick comment that I thought he'd died..he invited me for a drink...only sticking point...he's 3 years younger than me...which considering my age makes him positively a baby...eek!
Text 1 -Monster Mash sms'ed - he's back, couple of days of ex revelation cool down.
Text 2 -The Boxer wants to go to the movies tonight, but I think I'm bored already - he's got too much time on his hands.
Call 3 - Suit and Tie - missed his call, actually, that's a lie - saw it, couldn't be bothered..brunch with him on Sat.
Text 4 - Italian Stallion and I are having coffee later, so easy since we're in the same locale - but that's it, is that bad?
Thursday, September 10
Blame Central
Well it wasn't a very eventful night but it was a night with an event. About 2 months ago my cousin (male - code name : Armstrong) ran into my ex (Mr. Big) outside they're local starbucks- oh the wonders of a morning coffee. To be honest I haven't really felt the need to ask him about the encounter, which was rather revolutionary for me - a self confessed information hound (in saying this I purposely avoid Facebook etc) but since the interaction came up in conversation last night I thought I'd pass it on...
As always he's 'the same', straight down the line and focused (career wise) but apparently he felt the need to try and justify some of his actions to Armstrong. Who is obviously a nicer, more successful man than himself and to whom he knows I share virtually everything. Interesting to think that he was feeling like his actions needed a little explanation - here I was doing the typical thing and assuming all the blame for our relationship falling apart, when he clearly blames (at least some of it) on himself. Awesome. I no longer feel sh+t. In fact its rather like a weight has been lifted. 'Take your half of the blame, or more - whatever I no longer want any'.
Monster Mashed hasn't returned my email - letting go of that drama.
Going out for drinks with my American crew of girls tonight...need to work on my list of currents - feeling they are getting a little stagnant.
As always he's 'the same', straight down the line and focused (career wise) but apparently he felt the need to try and justify some of his actions to Armstrong. Who is obviously a nicer, more successful man than himself and to whom he knows I share virtually everything. Interesting to think that he was feeling like his actions needed a little explanation - here I was doing the typical thing and assuming all the blame for our relationship falling apart, when he clearly blames (at least some of it) on himself. Awesome. I no longer feel sh+t. In fact its rather like a weight has been lifted. 'Take your half of the blame, or more - whatever I no longer want any'.
Monster Mashed hasn't returned my email - letting go of that drama.
Going out for drinks with my American crew of girls tonight...need to work on my list of currents - feeling they are getting a little stagnant.
Wednesday, September 9
Catch 22- the fine line between knowing enough and knowing too much...
So I was finishing work and thought I'd put a call out to Monster Mashed, we met up for dinner at one of my favourite spots and after some fois gras and the first glass of white I had said goodbye to my mind-numbing day - which was nice, since I had lunch with the Italian Stallion and spent the entire time thinking about work. Anyway after the mandatory how was your weekend / day / work chat, I don't know how we got on to it but I asked and (surprisingly) he told me all about his ex.
Wow. She really went out of her way to mess him up. Of course I only have his version. In the end it sounded like she was a devil and he was a fool. Saying that it was nice to see a vulnerable side, and as factual as his recount was there was a little emotion there which was a bit of a shock to see. It even made me warm to him a little more. We walked home but when we parted I just got two cheek kisses. Um - huh? So I'm thinking maybe the revelation was a little much for him, and to be fair I'm not sure how well a giant 80's style pash would have really gone down.
I let it all settle for the night, no texts, no nothing and then this morning just wrote him a note saying - thank you for dinner last night and for 'being real' - will let you know how it goes. Its a catch 22, its too early for him to be embarking on something more than playful, and I've no intention of being the re-bound but he's so fun to hang out with - and that's a rare commodity, helps that's he's hot too!
Wow. She really went out of her way to mess him up. Of course I only have his version. In the end it sounded like she was a devil and he was a fool. Saying that it was nice to see a vulnerable side, and as factual as his recount was there was a little emotion there which was a bit of a shock to see. It even made me warm to him a little more. We walked home but when we parted I just got two cheek kisses. Um - huh? So I'm thinking maybe the revelation was a little much for him, and to be fair I'm not sure how well a giant 80's style pash would have really gone down.
I let it all settle for the night, no texts, no nothing and then this morning just wrote him a note saying - thank you for dinner last night and for 'being real' - will let you know how it goes. Its a catch 22, its too early for him to be embarking on something more than playful, and I've no intention of being the re-bound but he's so fun to hang out with - and that's a rare commodity, helps that's he's hot too!
Tuesday, September 8
Now im fighting on the back foot...
So the American boxer has invited me to Italy for the weekend. I think I can see a pattern emerging here. I'm going to have to say no - I've just been witness to my own melt down in Spain last weekend. I think I can easily come to the conclusion that I am not going to be able to share the confines of a weekend with someone else for a while. And besides I still have to try and buy a ticket to a Mexican wedding - which frankly I'd rather go to! Perhaps that says something...
The Arms Dealer is calling from Germany to see if he can buy my perfume there - Suit and Tie is still calling, and is still way too excited and Monster Mashed has gone under ground. Hmmmm - I think I need some new players...bring on the weekend...
The Arms Dealer is calling from Germany to see if he can buy my perfume there - Suit and Tie is still calling, and is still way too excited and Monster Mashed has gone under ground. Hmmmm - I think I need some new players...bring on the weekend...
Sunday, September 6
Its going to take time, money and gloves
So I went to lunch with the boxer- we went round for round on martinis vs jack and lemonades. Cool kid, American gentleman, makes me laugh, smart, my age (which is new)...but sneakers and jeans- killer. Seriously- are we in a bad eposide of Seinfeld?? I thought men knew this was the kiss of death? Someone needs to write a rule book for these poor things.
And then- even worse... Mr. Arms Dealer flew me to spain for the weekend and- I almost died- he wore sneakers and jeans too- maybe its me, maybe my ability to judge this has spiralled.
Anyway, spain was boring...I hear you- I know! Lord f'ing knows how you can make a beautiful, sunny city feel like a punishment- but he managed. Which frankly was annoying since I needed to relax this weekend. I thought- use it to your advantage- learn something. He's Jewish- you know nothing about that, learn. Fine for 3 hours, then its just noise and I need some time to myself and a cigarette! Faked period pain and got a night to myself. Thank god.
And then...I met his business partner (for the second time)- and realised who I really gave my number to. Sh+t. Anyway instead of just calling it and being honest, I read the FT, ignored my guy and then led him to a gay cocktail bar where we fought over politics which I think made him more amourous and at least made me laugh.
Lord knows how I get myself out of this situation. Can I?
How do you trade one for another? Simple trades are fine when they involve parties which you can blind seperately, but not when your switching out sexy for boring and they're business partners. Give me 5 mins to think about this one.
Actually - a really cute guy just took my bag and put it in the overhead on the flight back... Things are looking up, maybe I don't have to worry about the switch anyway...
And then- even worse... Mr. Arms Dealer flew me to spain for the weekend and- I almost died- he wore sneakers and jeans too- maybe its me, maybe my ability to judge this has spiralled.
Anyway, spain was boring...I hear you- I know! Lord f'ing knows how you can make a beautiful, sunny city feel like a punishment- but he managed. Which frankly was annoying since I needed to relax this weekend. I thought- use it to your advantage- learn something. He's Jewish- you know nothing about that, learn. Fine for 3 hours, then its just noise and I need some time to myself and a cigarette! Faked period pain and got a night to myself. Thank god.
And then...I met his business partner (for the second time)- and realised who I really gave my number to. Sh+t. Anyway instead of just calling it and being honest, I read the FT, ignored my guy and then led him to a gay cocktail bar where we fought over politics which I think made him more amourous and at least made me laugh.
Lord knows how I get myself out of this situation. Can I?
How do you trade one for another? Simple trades are fine when they involve parties which you can blind seperately, but not when your switching out sexy for boring and they're business partners. Give me 5 mins to think about this one.
Actually - a really cute guy just took my bag and put it in the overhead on the flight back... Things are looking up, maybe I don't have to worry about the switch anyway...
Thursday, September 3
Burning Bridges and Running Arms
F1 racer is out and Just-in is out.
I've consolidated into one and frankly I hope its a good choice.
F1 got rather needy to be honest, maybe it was the kid-connection. I don't like staying out till all-hours on a school night and he was always chasing a night cap at some new cool spot - which drove me mad, dates don't START at 11pm! But ignoring his texts was probably rather dull of me...I think I need to get braver on the exit-front. I just hate shutting doors, well shutting doors, bolting them and barricading them with kitchen chairs and angry midgets. But it does no one any favours not making things final, limbo aint a fun place to be for anyone.
Right - my new resolution is to burn bridges in a controlled fashion rather than pouring the petrol on and throwing a cigarette, Usual Suspect-Style. From now on I will even handedly line up all the dynamite in dot point notes as to why i'm a bad person to date and then just blow. Quick, violent and painful, thats what I'm heading for - but it will be over in a second, and thats got to be a relief. I must then remember to change my phone record to 'do not answer' rather than a name. That way I can't feel guilty. As much.
Just-in must have found out he really is gay. That's my reasoning, since he hasn't called again. Either that or he's dead. Actually I really didn't care, its nice not to have to dodge calls! I should date more faux-straight guys! Note to self.
So Arms Dealer; I met him on Wednesday night took me to lunch at a trendy bistro on Monday before jetting off to Madrid (and he's clearly taken the sun with him) - but he seems very sweet, funny and has a little sarcastic streak. Refreshing. Going to Spain this weekend to see him - I think I'll have to set down some ground rules first. Like me flying to see you for our second date DOES NOT mean anything. I still may not like you. -hmmmm that might be a hard one to cover...
Suit and Tie is pretending he is in love. Lord knows how I managed it, we went to dinner on Saturday night and then to the park Monday late afternoon...he seems to think that we're now going to be together forever. Crap. This guy could really cramp my candy picking boy-style. And this one can't really be a dynamite blow. Shame, he ticks lots of boxes, tall, hot, Scandinavian, rich, interesting, intelligent - he's just a bit excitable for me - no mystery. He gave himself away too quickly. Killer move.
I've consolidated into one and frankly I hope its a good choice.
F1 got rather needy to be honest, maybe it was the kid-connection. I don't like staying out till all-hours on a school night and he was always chasing a night cap at some new cool spot - which drove me mad, dates don't START at 11pm! But ignoring his texts was probably rather dull of me...I think I need to get braver on the exit-front. I just hate shutting doors, well shutting doors, bolting them and barricading them with kitchen chairs and angry midgets. But it does no one any favours not making things final, limbo aint a fun place to be for anyone.
Right - my new resolution is to burn bridges in a controlled fashion rather than pouring the petrol on and throwing a cigarette, Usual Suspect-Style. From now on I will even handedly line up all the dynamite in dot point notes as to why i'm a bad person to date and then just blow. Quick, violent and painful, thats what I'm heading for - but it will be over in a second, and thats got to be a relief. I must then remember to change my phone record to 'do not answer' rather than a name. That way I can't feel guilty. As much.
Just-in must have found out he really is gay. That's my reasoning, since he hasn't called again. Either that or he's dead. Actually I really didn't care, its nice not to have to dodge calls! I should date more faux-straight guys! Note to self.
So Arms Dealer; I met him on Wednesday night took me to lunch at a trendy bistro on Monday before jetting off to Madrid (and he's clearly taken the sun with him) - but he seems very sweet, funny and has a little sarcastic streak. Refreshing. Going to Spain this weekend to see him - I think I'll have to set down some ground rules first. Like me flying to see you for our second date DOES NOT mean anything. I still may not like you. -hmmmm that might be a hard one to cover...
Suit and Tie is pretending he is in love. Lord knows how I managed it, we went to dinner on Saturday night and then to the park Monday late afternoon...he seems to think that we're now going to be together forever. Crap. This guy could really cramp my candy picking boy-style. And this one can't really be a dynamite blow. Shame, he ticks lots of boxes, tall, hot, Scandinavian, rich, interesting, intelligent - he's just a bit excitable for me - no mystery. He gave himself away too quickly. Killer move.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
Posts
