Wednesday, August 26

The boxer

So I have a new crush. And its a weird one.

Not cause he's weird like 'cuckoo'. But cause he seems kind of arrogant- which is totally not my style. He's in my boxing class. Now I'm not talking some cute boxer-cise 2 step here- I've started full on, crazy person, knock people out boxing/fighting classes. I have a lot of anger to give. Anyway, last night was my first group class, since I usually do 1:1 with a crazy secret service guy (not hot). So its me and a group of 30 men in a room. Always good. I gravitated towards a group of 3 talking at the beginning of class and introduced myself. We then are promptly shunted into pairs (luckily landed the hottie) then proceed to have to do about a million push ups, carry the poor guy on my back while doing squats and beat the sh+t out of him throughout the night. To be fair he sent me flying a couple of times.

With all the tension we've got going it can only get better- bonus round he asked me if Ill be there Thursday...casually dropped that its dinner with the girls but he might get lucky...or maybe I'll make him sweat...he does look cute when he does that.

DJ ducking and hot guy amnesia...

Saturday nights come and go and typically my bad decisions mean much hilarity for the girls on Sunday morning. This past saturday night they included me ducking and diving the DJ's lips - numerous times, calling in the hold chin and gaze lovingly move. Fuelled by copious amounts of champagne and managing to snog some hot guy on the dance floor - the last part of which I have no recollection. Great. The one bit of the night that could have had the most promise I was too drunk to remember. Great.

Note to self - must rein in love of champagne and extend love of remembering snogging hot guys.

Snake by name snake by nature...

Last week's incident occured with a guy who decided to run after me after I dropped my lip gloss on the tube (actually not done on purpose, but a good tactic none-the-less). He proceeded to walk me home and then asked for my number. At this stage in a suit and jacket he looked hot, was very sweet and smart enough to do more than grunt. All good signs.

Venue of the date was a very cool bar - where we laughed our way through a few cocktails and then moved on to dinner at the best Chinese restaurant in town. After which he invited me back to his place and actually told me he thought it was going to be a one night stand. For starters NO NO and NO. I mean I appreciate honesty - but seriously? What about my beautifully selected silk dress and pumps screamed whore? Secondly, he was wearing rough snake skin cowboy boots - IN WHITE, lord knows HOW I had missed this and then upon learning this why I did not turn on my Choo heels and flee! What would possess someone to do something so stupid as to wear something so hideous on date number one. I now realise why in his late 30's not settled at it totally falls down to the chat and the shoes. Its going to take a very special girl to endure him - thank god its not going to be me.

The old-timers... A little glimpse into the previous generations

1.My Big -there is more history here than needs telling. End of the day boils down to this. Work was more important, we lost our trust and sometimes love really isnt enough. The one man who brought me to my knees. Truely my 'big'.

2.The Norweigan -if only I could still love him but we're more friends than lovers. Such a shame, he'll be a neurosurgeon next year, I'll just be 25.

3.The King of Clubs -Another prince who was great at the flash and dash, once confirmed as married immediately cut off.

Canadian Stalker - this guy needs a page all to himself, needless to say once I recovered my mothers's dime-sized pearl earrings and he told me that I remind him of the worst month of his life I ran.

Italian Stalion -not a stalion when it mattered after all.Henry the first -evidence of what can happen (down there) if you have too many steriods.

Frenchie -finally lost his coveted job and is back in the land of slug eaters leaving a sketchy text saying 'sorry, in france' and never called again. Well 'france' you too- your flat mate was hotter - pity he was even more of a manwhore.

Polo Obsessivo is ridiculous. A member of all the coolest places, huge player in finance, smart, sweet, funny, just can't focus -currently hunting for a wife a believe.

Gottcha -Intellegent, sexy, sweet, a real change. Guess this one was my fault - thats what you get if you leave your number with the host. A cheater.

Welcome to wonderland...

When Alice fell down the rabbit hole she encountered a whole bunch of crazy. Thats like my everyday life. Crazy. So grab your most luxurious ball gown, your best tea cup, your iphone/blackberry or both and settle in for a wild ride.

I've got to be honest. I'm good at men. Figuring them out, reeling them in, making them feel important...then...chewing them up and spitting them out - that kind of thing. Dont get me wrong, men are wonderful - wonderful fun and wonderful company, its just that I get bored.

So currently there are approximately 8 players - one for each day of the week and a spare for good measure- I mean you just never know when one might have to leave the country unexpectedly, get arrested, get married or worse - dump you. Don't get me wrong - I adore them all, but frankly they're just amusement.